Football season is nearly upon us, which means it's time to start writing about my beloved Colts yet again. For those readers who don't like the Colts or, GASP!, don't care about football? I apologize and look forward to your return come February.
Because I am such a big Colts fan (I've even been described as rabid), you may wonder why I don't have my very own season tickets. Good question. So as we approach yet another football season, here are the Top 10 Reasons Why I Don't Have Colts Season Tickets.
1. All the good tailgating spots are already taken.
2. I'm still protesting their decision to punt the perfect season.
3. If we spend all our cash on season tickets, there won't be any bail money left over for when I streak the field to show off the giant #18 tattoo I got on my backside during the off-season.
4. I gave up football for curling after the Winter Olympics.
5. I'm holding out for Bill Polian to call and ask me to be the Official Mommyblogger of the Indianapolis Colts.
6. Really, it's all downhill after the preseason.
7. Crappy internet reception in Lucas Oil Stadium means I can't keep up with my fantasy team.
8. Yet AGAIN, Mike chokes at the World Series of Poker.
9. Peyton Manning asked me to lay low with our love child until Archie Jr. fully develops his throwing arm.
10. I'm secretly a Patriots fan.
Totally kidding about #10. You'd have to kill me first. But Bill Polian? I'm waiting.
#10 totally isn’t funny.
Just teasing. I’m sure those words were hard to type, even in jest.
Love this post!
yes. You need to be the official Colts mommyblogger. I can see it now. Live tweeting to us from the field. Perfection.
rebecca says
I knew deep down you were secretly a Patriots fan!
# 7 rings so true at our house. We do have Colts season tickets, but my son stopped wanting to go to the games mid-season last year because he’d rather stay home and keep up on his fantasy team. He just turned 6 years old. So now we have to pay a babysitter so my husband and I can go together. 🙂
Hang on, let me check to make sure you don’t have any bricks in your hands…
…I don’t dig football. I know, I know. First the fair, now this.
But I am sorry you won’t be able to streak. That would’ve been awesome!
Hilarious! #9 is my favorite 🙂 Can you believe I moved to Boston…home of the Patriots?? How will I survive this first season? GO COLTS! P.S. Agree w/you on #2.
Curling… that was seriously the weirdest thing I’d ever seen — and it was, actually, the first time I’d ever seen it. Is it a midwest thing, by any chance? Tim and I have a theory, about the midwest and obscure sports.
And on the love child: honestly — do you find Peyton attractive? He was at UTK my first year of grad school, and my mom entertained fantasies of my “snagging” him; but I assured her it would never happen for multiple reasons, one being that I found him to be quite unattractive. Just wondering if you differ on that, or if you just love him for his talent.
It KILLED me. The things I do in the name of blogging.
You got me. I also think Bill Belichick and his ratty sweatshirts are sexy.
APRIL FOOLS! Or something like that. I am a fan of Rebecca, though.
I love it! I dream of the day we can have a family draft together. And then trash talk each other all season long.
But you like Starbucks and pretty shoes, so we can still be friends!
I do worry about your safety during football season. You should totally move back if anyone is mean to you.
I grew up here and there are plenty of oddities like curling I just don't get. Euchre being one of them. I might be the only Hoosier who can't figure it out. And yes, I do find Peyton quite dreamy. I don't know - I have a thing for dorky white guys. No hunky Latinos or Mediterranean men on my "List." It's filled with the likes of Peyton and Colin Firth. I guess it's a good thing you didn't snag him at UT. We couldn't be friends because you'd be all, "Step off my man, Six!"