Help. Thanks. Wow.

We’re back in the land of dependable wi-fi, so I thought I’d take a few minutes and give an update.

I’m still laptop-less.  Is that better or worse than being topless?  Probably depends on who you ask.  But at Day 7 without my precious,  I’d take topless with my laptop.

We returned home from Ohio last night.  I’m so glad to be home.  I never realized what a homebody I really am.  I want to drink coffee out of my own coffee mug.  I want the option to put a bra on after breakfast.  I need home field advantage for my bowels to work properly.  I am not meant to be too far from home for too long.

Mike and I feel good that we were able to visit Paul, talk to his doctors, and get first-hand information about his condition.  Not much has really changed.  He has COPD that has progressed quite far.  He’s been on a ventilator since December 18th.  Attempts to wean him from the ventilator have been met with small successes, but he still isn’t capable of breathing on his own and getting enough oxygen.  On Monday he had a tracheostomy, in hopes that he can continue to wean off oxygen without the discomfort and full sedation required for using a ventilator with an endotracheal tube (what he had previously).  That is how we left things yesterday, and we are waiting word to see if his condition has improved at all.

It’s a difficult situation all around.  I want him to get better.  I want him to be peaceful and pain-free.  I can just hear him, if he pulls through, giving me a hard time about my posts.  He always kept up with us through the blog.  I can hear him bringing up that Mark Twain quote: “The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.” I hope that’s how this all ends.

And still, I’m at peace it isn’t.  The book you see above is my Christmas present from Paul.  He always had his Christmas presents purchased and wrapped before Thanksgiving.  We’d planned to have Thanksgiving together here, but then Alla had her accident and they weren’t able to travel.  I know he had no way of knowing, but reading my favorite author’s words about prayer has been the perfect mix of humor and comfort.  When the package with our Christmas gifts arrived, I tossed it in a closet, unopened.  We were in the midst of showing the house, and I told myself I’d open it once we got the tree up.  He called a few days later and insisted I open it.  He guided to me to a lumpy package, addressed to me.  He wanted me to open it while we were on the phone.

It was a giant bag of Almond Joys.  He’d remembered my pitiful haul at Halloween.

So that’s where I stand.  Hopeful that we’ll have that chance to speak again.  Thankful for what we have: words that comfort, treats to enjoy, happy memories.

Thank you all so much for your kind words and comments on my last post.  They meant so much to us.  I’ll continue to update as I can.  In the meantime, I wish you a happy and healthy 2013.