There was that horrible stretch of time in middle school when Valentine's Day was just about the worst holiday a girl could imagine. Or rather, experience. My imagined Valentine's Day was sweep-you-off-your-feet lovely. My actual experience of Valentine's Day was as painfully awkward as myself.
I was chubby, with braces, glasses, and the kind of haircut that makes me want to take my mother by the shoulders and plead, "Why? No, really, why?"
A few weeks before February 14th, the table festooned with crepe paper would make its appearance just outside the cafeteria. The poster board behind gave the necessary details:
Valentine's Day Flowers!
Send a flower to a "special" friend and let them know how much you care!
Did you endure this as well? The idea was that anyone could fork over a few dollars, send flowers to their friends, and let the student council do God-knows-what with the profits. We all knew the real deal, though. Only the lamest of the lame sent flowers to their actual friends. No, the only flowers that counted were the ones that were sent by the opposite sex. Valentine's Day came, and the score was tallied: Total flowers received – flowers sent to you by your girlfriends = Net Self Worth. Minus 10 points if it was discovered you sent flowers to yourself.
God, how I dreaded Valentine's Day. There I sat in homeroom, watching the carnations pile up on the desks of some, while mine remained pitifully bare. I'd let my mind wander, thinking of my imaginary admirer. Of course he didn't send me any carnations – he'd gone to the flower shop in town! Any minute now they'd walk in with my roses. And balloons. There would definitely be balloons.
If nothing else, my imagination got me through that day until I could get off the bus and wallow in my uncoolness at home. In the safety of my home, though, I always had a Valentine. Every year, without fail, from the time I was a little girl until I left my home for college, my Dad would give me the ubiquitous heart-shaped Whitman's sampler. I'm sure in those heinous middle school years he was rewarded with an eye-roll and a snide remark about me being too fat for chocolate, but deep down I was oh so very grateful. He remembered every year. He loved me no matter what I looked like on the outside or felt like on the inside.
My mother is out of town this week, visiting her sister in Florida. My dad stayed behind, and on this Valentine's Day I invited him over for dinner. When dinner was over, he pulled out a small bag: two cards and two little boxes of chocolate for Elena and Eli. My heart swelled. I don't need that box of chocolate anymore – I have my very own Valentine for life. My kids aren't of the age where it really matters to them, either. But someday, it will. It's nice to know they'll always have a Valentine, too.
Thanks, Dad. Happy Valentine's Day.
I could have written that almost word for word!
Middle school was ridiculously tragic, and dad always saved the day! Thanks 🙂
I do take some solace in the knowledge that other schools had that horrid student council tradition — and that others shared a pitiful fantasy that the carnation would actually land on my desk (it never did).
Middle school. How horrible can you get!?
I have 2 of those Carnations in my kitchen as I type this. The Chicken’s best friend sent her one and in a moment of panic when she couldn’t remember her best friend’s homeroom she sent one to herself. She didn’t hide the fact that she sent it to herself, I love that about my happy little 6th grader. Altho her older and therefore much more wiser freshman sister was getting all snarky about the fact that she sent the flower to herself. Part of me chuckled because I honestly had the same thoughts when I saw that she sent the flower to herself, but the other part of me wanted to punch her sister in the arm for making her feel like she did something wrong.
Thanks for the comment, Erin! Im a big fan of your Romesco. Ill bet if those pesky middle school kids knew someday youd be making bloody mary mix they would have showered you with carnations!
Angie
You go Girlfriend! We must have been twins separated at birth. I lived that same junior high school nightmare for several years. Ain’t it great to 1)have a super cool dad? and 2)outgrow the angst?
Susan at Charm of the Carolines
The horrid Valentine’s Day carnation/popularity contest is one reason I hope to be done with teaching. It’s just too painful to watch.
I know what you mean. Looking back, I love that my girlfriends and I would send flowers to each other. It wasnt the same as that elusive flower from your secret admirer, but it was the beginning of an acknowledgement: your girlfriends will always have your back. When that horrid phase of life comes for my daughter, I hope to emphasize that life lesson over the other – that mean girls suck.
Angie
Loved this post. Hope my girls have friends as wonderful as mine, and feel absolutely adored by their Daddy. Dad’s are a timeless treasure.
As are friends like you! Love ya, and thanks for all those years of making sure I had at least one carnation!
Angie
Today’s most popular Valentine gifts include chocolates, flowers, candies, jewelry and of course, greeting cards.It is very common to present flowers on Valentine’s Day and sending flowers to your love one was really romantic..