The Proverbs According to Eli

Have you ever said something to your kids only to have them look at you as if you sprouted three heads?

The other day I used what I thought was a common saying.  Eli was trying to decide if he wanted to play with one of the neighborhood kids who was outside or wait for an invitation from another friend.

“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, buddy.” He couldn’t have looked more confused if he’d opened the door in August to find drifts of snow.  I explained to him what I meant – that it’s sometimes better to go with what you have available than wait for a better offer that might not ever occur.  He shrugged and was off to play with the bird at hand, but it got me thinking.  What other common proverbs have been totally lost on my kids?  I found a few gems and let  Eli  fill in the blanks with his own personal proverbs.

Sleep tight … don’t let the mosquitoes bite.

You can’t teach an old dog … to fly.

People who live in glass houses … are statues.

You can’t have your cake … and pretzels.

Life is a bowl full of …. cereal.

If you don’t have something nice to say … say something kind of stupid.

Good things come to those who … are nerds.

So there you have it.  Need to dispense some sage wisdom to your family or friends?  Just remember: always let your conscience (and Eli’s proverbs) be your guide.