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Remember When

May 17, 2010 angie

Engaged

Mike and I, sitting for our engagement pictures at Miami University fourteen years ago.  I think we were about twelve years old.  Also, how is it fair that I have the same hairstyle today, but not the same body?  I want my money back.  I would like to return my extra chin and crow's feet for my rock-hard abs and perky boobs.  Mike, however, looks exactly the same.  Also not fair.

Thirteen years ago today I walked down the aisle and became Mrs. Six, just like the number.  With each year that passes, the anniversary celebration becomes a little more subdued.  We figured out long ago that cards aren't our thing.  We typically don't exchange fancy gifts, or any gifts at all.  Tonight we'll sit down as a family and eat a home-cooked meal together.  The kids will help make brownies and we'll have them warm with ice cream.  Next weekend my parents will take the kids so we can enjoy a nice meal out together. 

After the kids are in bed, I'll put in our song and we'll slow dance in the living room in our yoga pants and boxers, trying not to trip on the toys scattered about the floor.  Our song would be Alan Jackson's Remember When.

Remember when I was young and so were you
And time stood still and love was all we knew

Remember when we vowed the vows

And walked the walk
Gave our hearts, made the start, it was hard
We lived and learned, life threw curves
There was joy, there was hurt
Remember when

Remember when old ones died and new were born

And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged
We came together, fell apart
And broke each other's hearts
Remember when

Remember when the sound of little feet

Was the music
We danced to week to week
Brought back the love, we found trust
Vowed we'd never give it up
Remember when

Remember when thirty seemed so old
Now lookn' back it's just a steppin' stone
To where we are,
Where we've been
Said we'd do it all again

I imagine if you were a newlywed yourself, you'd think this was tragic.  No romantic getaway?  No sparkly gift? And what is up with that depressing song? Who embraces a song that talks about hurt, broken hearts and lost trust?

Thirteen years ago I would have thought the same thing.  Like parenting, I think you have the "best" marriage advice before you actually get married.  Like parenting, I think you can only imagine the Hallmark moments of a marriage.  With kids you see birthdays, first steps,  Disney World, recitals.  You don't see the sleepless nights, the vomit, the tantrums over the wrong colored socks.  With marriage you see the candlelit dinners, vacations on the beach, the perfect home with the picket fence.  You don't see the credit card bills, the pile of dishes in the sink, the tantrums over who is pulling their weight or who is insensitive.

The thing is, like parenting, you can't have the warm fuzzy stuff without the ugly part.  You can't skip the cleaning up the puke, the putting on of clean, dry jammies, the rubbing of the warm forehead, and expect to have the love and trust you earn by caring for someone who is sick and helpless.  You can't skip the knock-down, drag-outs about why your marriage is sucking so bad right now, the fights that gradually lose their bite and turn into real, honest conversations about how you get past the ugliness that each of you brings into a relationship.  You can't just skip that part and expect to have the quiet moment of holding hands, lying your head on a supportive shoulder, and knowing they love you no matter what. 

That's why I love the song, why I love what our anniversaries have come to be.  It's the reality of living with the same person, day in and day out, for thirteen years. 

We are not so young anymore.  We are still so in love.  God willing, we'll make it another thirteen years.  And another thirteen years after that.  And so on.  There will be more pain, I'm sure of it, but there will be more lovely moments as well.  I would do it all again to get where we are today.

Much to love to my wonderful husband, my best friend.  Happy Anniversary.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kelly says

    May 17, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    awe… Happy Anniversary Angie and Mike!!!

  2. Katy says

    May 17, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    Amen, sister.
    And yes — you do look twelve, the both of you. But I’d say you’ve each aged equally, and equally as gracefully ; )
    Congrats to you for 13 years together!

  3. Eternal Lizdom says

    May 17, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    Happy Anniversary. And what a lovely and honest and so true post!

  4. Victoria Winters says

    May 17, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    Love, love, love this post! Yay for long marriages like ours! 🙂

  5. Lesley says

    May 17, 2010 at 2:58 pm

    Love it! I’m so with you with the cards and even the gifts. It’s safe to say we never slowed danced in yoga pants and boxers though. Maybe we should try. 11 years this year. Happy Anniversary!

  6. maren says

    May 19, 2010 at 4:19 am

    Love this post! Today is my #9 anniversary–so I’m a few years behind you, but your words are so true! Thanks for sharing! I’m still hopping over from Blissdom, believe it or not! hahah! One day I’ll get it all together…

  7. Indianapolis Amy says

    May 19, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    What a cute pic:) Congrats on your anni! BTW- you look very young– still:)

  8. Angie Six says

    May 20, 2010 at 6:53 pm

    Well, now you have to share how long youve been married! My parents have been married 50 years, so we have a ways to go 😉
    Angie

  9. Angie Six says

    May 20, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    Its not quite the same as dancing in your wedding dress and a tux, but its just as sweet. Eleven years is pretty good stuff, too! Its coming up, right?
    Angie

  10. Angie Six says

    May 20, 2010 at 7:03 pm

    Im so glad you hopped on over! Oddly enough, I was just looking through some of my Blissdom business cards and caught sight of yours. Its one of my favorites. Congrats on 9 years! Im so glad to hear other couples can relate – much better than, Dude, whats up with yourmarriage.
    Angie

  11. Country-Fried Mama says

    June 7, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    You are so wise, Mrs. Six! We have our 10th anniversary coming up, and I’m sure I imagined on my wedding day that my husband and I would head to Italy or something to celebrate 10 years. If we make it out to dinner without kids it will be a pretty nice break from the norm. Ah, well. Happily ever after is just slightly different than in the Disney movies.
    Happy anniversary to you!

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